A Tale Between Two Cheeks: All About Poop & The Secrets You Flush Away

Okay, this isn’t my favorite subject, but I do think it is important to explore. There are a lot of misconceptions about poop that I want to address, and you can even find beauty in this enriching release. I also want to help you relieve yourself in a healthy, natural way. But first let me expose myself a bit.

Cleanliness has always been a thing in my family. I know most people just do their business, wipe, and flush the evidence away. My family does not do that. I was raised to poop and take a thorough…”butt-shower.”

What is a “butt-shower?” Well… we clean our bottom area until we see and smell no poop. And we really do make sure the poop is gone (even if we must do a few butt-cleanings).

Why? Well, have you ever caught a whiff of someone who smelled like poop? Or, are you familiar with the famous “brown-stain” on your underwear? Yes, those are a few reasons I am so fond of the “butt-shower.”

I know this might seem strange to some people. I understand how wasteful this is. People could just use linen cloths soaked in liquid soap nut (or another natural soap option) instead of taking a few showers a day. And there are bidets as well that squirt up and clean your bottom that use less water. But those just don’t seem thorough enough for me.

Now that I shared that, let me move on and share some tips to help with a healthy release.

Poo-Boosters To Consider

You may know about certain foods that can help you release. I will not expound on that because there is a lot of information about foods that aid in digestion. And, as you eat healthier, your body should naturally adjust your bowel movements, which should be about 1-2 times per day for most people.

Well, here are a few interesting ways to help release your waste:

Colors

The following are a few colors that may help you.

• Green: A peace-inducing color. May remind you of nature and greenery.
• Blue: Blue also helps you relax, and some associate this color with the ocean.
• Orange: This is a warm color that should help increase circulation a bit.
• Brown for obvious reasons, and it also has an earthy, grounding feeling.

Vibrations

Most of us don’t hear the sounds of the river or ocean as we release, but we should. Consider listening to relaxing sounds and calming music to help your bowels move freely. Your body will naturally sync to the peaceful vibrations around you.

Crystals

And you should consider placing certain crystals around your bathroom to help your digestive system:

1. Bloodstone: Bloodstone is naturally green and brown. Bloodstone is mostly made of silicon dioxide, a mineral that helps distribute nutrients and energy correctly.
2. Clear Quartz Crystal: This is another stone with silicon dioxide. It will release balancing energy that should re-adjust your physical functions.
3. Citrine: Citrine is a naturally yellow or brown colored stone. This stone is also partly made of silicon dioxide.
4. Cherry Opal: This stone has orange-colored hues. This should help you feel comfortable and warm (fire or sunlight). This stone also contains silicon dioxide.
5. Blue Lace Agate: And yes, this stone is mostly made of silicon dioxide. It has blue undertones that induce relaxation.

You might be wondering about something else now. If not, I’ll just tell you anyway.

So How Should Poop Look?

Remember that healthy poop should be about 18 inches long with a diameter of 2 inches. What you want is an S-shaped long shaft with little to no cracks on the surface. And it is important that your waste flows easily through you. The color of your poop should be light to medium brown. The weight of your waste should allow it to sink slowly into the water. And it should not be so heavy that it splashes loudly.

Now, Let’s Talk About The Smell

I watch Seinfeld a lot, and I remember a question they asked on the show, “Could you die from an odor?” I’m not attempting to answer that question. Besides, who would want to test out that theory?

But your fecal matter should not smell vile. Your poop may smell worse than it should if you are eating a lot of incorrectly processed food.

Your bowel movements could also smell because you are not eating enough good bacteria to rebalance your gut’s chemical makeup.

Mixed and high-plant eaters tend to consume fiber, so they may have more bowel movements. Others eat no or low fiber diets and rely on fat, which is also fine. Your digestive system uses enzymes and phenolic compounds as well. You can include things like the following in your diet:

• Berries, Apples, Peaches, Plums, Yellow onion, Artichokes, Broccoli, Sprouted grains, Sprouted legumes, Chilies, Fermented foods and drinks, Pineapple, Papaya, Mango, Raw Honey

But Just in Case…

Try A Poo-Stench Concealer if You Need it

Have you seen that Poo-Pourri commercial where you spray the solution into the toilet before you go to hide the smell? I was very interested because… you just never know. Yes, I know what to do and eat to make my waste smell better. But I’m not perfect, and I find myself eating bad things sometimes, especially when we are on the road and can’t find good food.

Well, the following is a natural recipe to hide your poop smell if you ever feel you need to. The natural oils form a film that traps smells. The recipe also uses a little natural soap so that you don’t mess up your pipes.

• 7 drops of eucalyptus oil
• 7 drops of peppermint oil
• 6 drops of lavender oil
• 2 tablespoons of witch hazel
• 2 tablespoons of liquid soap nut
• And a clean 4 ounce glass spray bottle
• Water

Steps:

1. Mix all the ingredients together–except the water, and mix well.
2. Add them to the bottle.
3. Now fill the bottle with water, and blend well.
4. Shake before you use it.
5. Spray the toilet bowel 4 times before you relieve yourself.

When You Release, Do So Correctly

There is evidence of human waste disposal systems around the world that date back several ancient civilizations. I was researching some of these systems, and it seems there were two basic designs: One was a seat, and the other was a hole to squat over. You can guess which one got popular.

If I was an alien, and had to do a report on human beings, I would probably agree with the assertion that laziness drives human advancement. I mean, wouldn’t it be easier to find a way to get to your destination faster? Oh, yeah…a car. So, it makes sense that sitting to poop became popular because it’s much easier than squatting.

But squatting is what you need to do to eliminate your waste correctly. Squatting relaxes the colon and straightens it, which makes it easier to do your business. Sitting down does not fully relax your colon and makes it harder to poop. Experts say that the reason people suffer from colitis, hemorrhoids, and constipation could be related to years of improper pooping.

So, what can you do–apart from installing a squatting toilet in your restroom? Well, if you are flexible like my wife, just squat on the toilet by putting your soles on the toilet seat. Your behind should not pass your ankles, and your feet should be straight. I, on the other hand, am not flexible, so I have to use a rudimentary foot rest that allows me to get in the squatting position.

And a Step Further…

A step further really does require a release of your inhibitions. I actually had to do this when I was younger. I went to visit my family in Oaxaca, and my grandfather (who just turned 98) took me out to work with him. I had to go while I was working.

My grandfather told me to dig a hole away from his crop and handed me a large leaf from a nearby tree. I was not too open to the idea. I decided to hold it, but nature eventually won, and I tried his method. I was scared that a bug might bite me, and I kept checking the leaf to make sure there were no bugs on the leaf before I used it.

But this is not abnormal. I mean, animals dig a hole and take care of their business or just poop and let it fall on the ground. But we are sophisticated creatures who wouldn’t dare add a little fertilizer to the ground to enrich the earth. We have forgotten how important our fecal matter is for the planet.

I found a study about dogs who poop north. They are able to do this because they sense the magnetic field of the earth. Some scientists discovered this fact but were unable to explain it.

There is a possible reason why dogs try to find soil with a strong magnetic field. Fertile soil is full of minerals and has strong magnetic energies. This is evident for those agricultural experts who have adopted the copper triangle, which amplifies these energies to help enrich the soil. Soil that has enough minerals (from fertilizer) can absorb energy, water, and minerals better.

The soil receives the energies from the earth’s natural magnetic field and the sun. Dogs and other creatures should be placing soil-enriching poop in the dirt, which allows the earth to provide food that is rich in minerals.

Remember that I am referring to healthy poop from animals and human beings that have been eating well. Poop from creatures that have been fed nothing but processed food will not produce healthful poop.

You should keep this one in mind: healthy poop can actually help you fight harmful bacteria if you eat it. It’s the ultimate way to heal the gut. I’m not telling you to do it. But be careful because I read that some Japanese scientists developed poop burgers.

So, our earth needs your excrements. Human fecal matter is full of nutrients, phosphorus, and nitrogen to help enrich our earth’s soil. Years ago, an outhouse with a poop hole was common on rural lands, but you have to keep moving every few years, so you should have some decent acreage. You also have to keep it far enough from crops and water. Most people only do poop holes when camping, but you can consider a compost toilet. There are a few companies out there who can pick up your fecal matter for agricultural purposes. Their process involves ‘cooking’ the matter. Or, you can use composted poop on your land. You might even want to check out The Humanure Handbook.

You should question all of our so-called sophisticated advancements and get back to the basics.

Ruben