You may know that I am married to Ruben, who is not a Christian. Marriage is a Holy union created by God and is lifelong (Romans 7:2)(Mark 10:9). But being in a marriage where we are on different sides brings some unique challenges.
Now, some say a Christian marrying an unbeliever is not wrong. I disagree. It’s like committing fornication and getting blessed with a child. I believe the act (not the marriage 1 Corinthians 7:14) is sinful because of several passages and verses, such as 2 Corinthians 6:14. Simply put, disobedience to God’s Word is sinning. We see in 1 Corinthians 7:39 that widows are told to marry someone who loves the Lord. Single (never married) people are not excluded here. 1 Corinthians 7: 12, 13 says we should not just leave an unbelieving spouse. However, if the unbeliever wants to leave, we should let him or her go–though that doesn’t mean we’re free to marry another as you can see in verses like Romans 7:2 mentioned above and 1 Corinthians 7: 10, 11. (We must be careful not to add to the Word for our desires or misinterpret scriptures such as Matthew 19:9 by not doing a detailed study of NT instruction.)
A Christian can indeed be yoked to unbelievers in various ways, and this situation can also occur when one spouse comes to the Lord and not the other, which I believe is similar to me because I did not truly serve Christ before I married. For one, I produced no Fruit of the Holy Spirit and had no spiritual growth (James 2:17). I had no Good fruits to show (Matthew 7:6-20). I believed in God, but that’s not much different than evil spirits (James 2:19). My journey to authentic Christianity began after I got married.
We had a private commitment and another celebration with friends and family. The first year of my marriage was weird. For some reason, I was happy with my husband and new life but was distressed. I would get severely depressed about the smallest things, and I remember one time the thought of suicide randomly popped in my head, which was weird. I felt like something was oppressing me. Sometimes, depression is spiritually rooted. God was courting me and trying to get my attention with this evil being (Isaiah 54:16).
Time moved on, and whatever belief I had in God became easily distorted. I began to allow worldly philosophies to become a reality. A little more time went by, and I began to suffer from severe insomnia and felt like something was bothering me in my sleep.
That was the beginning of a series of unfortunate events, which led to my husband and I’s world being flipped upside down. It gets quite surreal, horror-movie scary, and extremely painful. We all have a story, and God wanted me to go through that. I know now that God allowed the enemy to show me I wasn’t really a follower of Christ. I was a ‘fake’ Christian. Thankfully, Christ Jesus rescued me, gave me a rock of faith, and equipped me with the full Armour of God (Ephesians 6:11-17). This prepared me for the coming spiritual battles in life (Luke 22:31)(1 Peter 5:8)(Acts 14:22)(1 Peter 1:6–7)(Romans 8:29).
I also know that my husband came with spiritual baggage that I just could not see. This stronghold moves throughout his family. But these invisible problems are everywhere, and only Christ’s blood can break them and protect you.
With all that, I must say that I am madly in love with my earthly mate and can’t see myself without him. We talk for hours and reminisce about our happy and sad times. We’re oddly inseparable. We have philosophical debates, and he helps strengthen my faith. Each year, I fall more in love with him with Godly Love. It’s amazing seeing God work in me and show me what true Love is (1 Corinthians 13:4-8; etc).
Of course, this is not the case all the time. There are times I’m not spiritually content and don’t want to be in a marriage where we are on opposite sides. I want us to have the same spiritual foundation now! I wonder if I could have chosen an easier path and find myself flying though my memories before my world was so brutally awakened. My husband’s words are like daggers every time he disrespects my God, even though he tries not to. It’s sad to see because I know he can’t help it. He’s a follower of satan, and I, Christ. He also feels my Godly words are daggers (which is technically true as the Word is a Sword-Hebrews 4:12).
These are the times when the Lord talks to me and tells me He is in charge. He lets me know that my choices are His plan. My life experiences are meant to strengthen me so that I can be who Christ wants me to be. And, somehow, I know everything will work out for my good. Thankfully, my husband and I are very open and honest with each other. We both take our marriage seriously. We put in the effort to make our partnership work, which happens naturally for us.
I’m learning to be content with my current state and am taping into that joy that lives in me. I know that wallowing in certain emotions is damaging on multiple levels of my being. I am learning from my past but not living in it. So, I continue to pray for my husband and our marriage without ceasing. I know that God may rest on him someday, and I long for that.
I do believe God paired me with a heathen for a reason. For one, it humbles me and keeps me ‘spiritually woke.’ I am constantly reminded to live my life as a witness to my love and am more mindful that I’m a representative of Christ at all times as the world lives with me and judges my actions, so I’m thankful for this odd union.
I am a child of God, so the enemy will always try to break my faith by attacking my sanctified marriage and anything else.
God is my escape from the heartaches that come in this life. So, I get lost in His Word, prayer, and praise and end up in a garden of communion. I am learning that to get through this life, God is the only phix I need.
Shalom,
